bismillah. It's been a while since I came back to my college. So, last week, I took the liberty to finally go there to volunteer for my juniors' conference. I had butterflies swarming in my stomach, and I had a hard time convincing myself to go. Finally, at 12.15 pm, I got out of the house, into the car, and headed to the highway. In my mind, there was a lot of things going on, and I wasn't focusing on the road at all. I was supposed to spend the night there, cause I volunteered on the next day, too. But I didn't want to. I refused to. I couldn't. These past 4 months, I've messed myself up. It was easier before, because people won't see me. But, now that I'm going back, I don't know how to confront them. I was scared. I was scared to talk. Scared to reconnect. Scared to even do anything. That 40 minute drive, I imagined all kinds of scenarios I will put up. I'm gonna arrive at the college, pray and then sleep. And at 3 pm, I
Sit down and read. Grab a cup of coffee and have a conversation with me.