bismillah.
The last week of February, my brother decided to come back home for a week. Taking a vacation from his long days of being an intern as a houseman at a hospital in Sarawak. The week he came home was the week that my parents went outstation. So there was just me, him, and my lil bro.
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| my doctor-brother in red-tee, my lil bro next to me |
After we went to visit our grandma on Monday, she invited us for lunch some time for that week. But my brother kept saying that he can't make it. The thing is, my big bro, he doesn't talk much. So, it was not a surprise when we found out that the reason he didn't want us to have lunch with grandma was that he had the whole week planned for us three!
He had only 2-days void left in his week here, and he was planning for a wonderful trip. But to His plans, we had to cancel that. And at last we decided to go to Cosmo's World at Times Square.
I am afraid of a lot of things, but going to the indoor theme park, my fears were emphasized. There I was, a girl with two brothers, wanting to try out ALL of the things in there. And my big brother told us that he wants us to go on the roller-coaster first.
I was starting to regret my decision of tagging along with them, but then I thought, who else better to experience this for the first time than with them? (i don't know what i was thinking right then -___________-)
I was so scared as I buckled up, that my lil brother started to tease me about it. Both of them were laughing, and I felt better. Maybe they were just trying to make me feel more comfortable about it.
And then, the ride starts!
The first few seconds was okay. And then when it gained speed, I was grabbing tight to my safety-belts and my hands were all sweaty. My brothers were laughing and screaming, and I was just smiling and giggling, trying to shake the fear off. My lil brother told me to not close my eyes, to get the feeling of it. The fear got worse when the ride turned upside down, and I looked down and my, oh my, I saw that the floor was far, far away!
After it ended, my big brother told me that he wants us to ride it again. I was already walking in circles, holding to the rail bars as I tried hard to keep walking straight. I told my brothers that I don't want to go on it again, but I don't want my time to be wasted, so I joined them. Again.
The second time was no less fearsome than the first. But I got more relaxed as I was actually trying to let my hands go as we moved, but I couldn't. I was still afraid. My big brother didn't stop screaming because he was too ecstatic. My lil brother kept laughing and even had time to pose for the camera while we were moving on the ride.
Out of all the things in the theme park, we only managed to try on three rides. The roller coaster, the one we call 360 (cause it rotates 360') and the DNA mixer where our seats were rolled in all kinds of directions. Because we tried each ride twice, by the time we tried on the DNA mixer, I told my brothers that I can't go on much longer, but they were adamant that I went along with them.
My big brother made a joke when we were on the 360 ride. He was sitting in front of me, and he said,
The second time was no less fearsome than the first. But I got more relaxed as I was actually trying to let my hands go as we moved, but I couldn't. I was still afraid. My big brother didn't stop screaming because he was too ecstatic. My lil brother kept laughing and even had time to pose for the camera while we were moving on the ride.
Out of all the things in the theme park, we only managed to try on three rides. The roller coaster, the one we call 360 (cause it rotates 360') and the DNA mixer where our seats were rolled in all kinds of directions. Because we tried each ride twice, by the time we tried on the DNA mixer, I told my brothers that I can't go on much longer, but they were adamant that I went along with them.
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| okay, i was LITERALLY scared! |
in the middle of the spins, i'm gonna spit on youand I gotta tell ya, I wanted to spit on him, too. Because after surviving the roller-coaster which I feared so much, I figured, this cannot be worse.
I was wrong, of course.
Next was the DNA mixer. At the middle of the spins, I was literally on the verge of puking. I told my brother, and he told me to just shut my mouth and hold on. I swallowed some of it, and closed my eyes for the rest of it.
After I quit, then my little brother followed, my brother took on another ride on the DNA mixer. Then, he too, got dizzy. But he told us he wanted to take on another shot at the 360 ride. I sat down, and as I watched him and my little brother, I saw that he wasn't holding on to the buckle. He swung his hands in motion and just let go.
And it got me thinking. If this was my life, and it was in the motion of being swung and spun without me preparing for it, I don't think I'm ready to let the force drives me to 'just go with the flow'. But as I was thinking that, I had led my thoughts to the notion that "I do control my life". Which was absolutely wrong.
I have rights to the decisions I make in my life, but when it comes to how things turn out, I have no clue.
But my brother puts faith into his belt. So did my little brother.
But I was too damn scared, I almost cried and got my palms all sweaty from holding the buckle too hard.
Faith, comes a long way in building your inner confidence in Allah.
Like the roller coaster ride and the 360, you never know if you will fall, or hanging on. But faith brings you to believe, that He will always protect you from falling.
And even though my brothers and I don't talk much at home, now I know that they will do anything, to save a sister.
Even if it means scaring the shit out of her.
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