bismillah.
It has been some time that I haven't been able to really open up and express my feelings. There were always factors that I needed to evaluate before doing so. Factors which, in the end, prevented me from even saying what's in my head.
I know, Muslims should be strong. And that we can't give up on the tests Allah laid out in our path. And that no matter how hard our journey is, there are always others who endured a far worse day.
I know that.
Seeing how my brothers and sisters struggling for freedom each day, not even sure if tomorrow there will be a roof atop their heads, or they will see tomorrow's sunrise, or if they will be food on the table, or if the head count in the next five minutes will be the same as before. Everything is unsure, yet they are happy to fight for their rights. Subhanallah! Not even a whine from anyone. Be yet kids, or old ones. None.
#FreeSyria #FreePalestine
hand-sown flags at my house. yeay! |
How people who have nothing on their plates but plain rice and salt for dinner, who grew up in broken homes, who lost their loved ones upon growing up, whom childhood memories were of working to have better lives for their family, who gave up dreams of becoming someone so that someone else can hold on to their dreams, and still prevailed without frets.
There are far more things in life that needed worrying; where shall I end, is my amaal sufficient to pay the price of Jannah, are my sins linked to others and would it attach us together in hell, those kinds of a deal.
Albeit all of this, we are all human. And as humans, Allah granted us with two kinds of voices. The voices of our mouths, and the voices of our conscience.
What most people don't realise, is that the conscience is far more powerful than the mouth. They tend to express all their feelings and thoughts with their vocal cords because they believe that it screams louder. So that everyone hears it.
Most people hear what you have to say, but they don't listen.
The conscience, on the other hand, need not speaking up. There is always someone on the other end of the line willing to hear you -Allah.
You don't even have to move your lips!
It's probably why I don't usually talk about what's really bothering me. Because there are more important things to say.
And that lets me feel more comfortable to hide behind smiles. It makes me feel that I am less important than the bigger questions, and that I am strong enough to face whatever Allah has set for me.
You see how the joker always have a smile on his face, even though he's not that happy. People don't know what he's thinking or feeling. Just that he's smiling, and people see him as that. Smiley.
*although he is ACTUALLY a crazy guy, so i guess that's a wrong example :P *
It's not the end of the world when you have a bad day. Just put on a smile and go on with it. Be grateful for what you have, and move forward.
To Jannah.
I really don't know why I'm writing anymore. It feels wrong. Just thought that I am actually talking to someone.
Till then.
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