Musafir Biru

bismillah. it's hard when things don't go our way times when summer turns to fall when all we want is the sun when night falls but we just want to be awake but it's harder when we strive to be better but people pushes us away back to where we started it's depressing it's disappointing it's killing you from the inside i might be blind overseeing you from the shadows but i'm not that dumb to realize that something's not right i'm stupid for everything i know that but can't you at least spare me the tears and just speak the truth? i'm swimming in my emotions and i'm crying in front of Allah now but how i wish you would understand that i'd like your shoulders too it might be too late for me to make things right but for all that's worth i love you i had, and i always will even if you don't believe me i wish you can see right through me and see how...

bismillah. Hello! Hello! Buat adik-adik lepasan SPM 2011, adik-adik daftar ke mana lepas ni? Ni haa~ akak nak promote ni. Once in a lifetime chance. I want to promote to you.. KOLEJ TEKNOLOGI TIMUR! Well, people say we can't judge a book by its cover kan? So, akak tak maulah tayang wajah sebenar KTT Sepang ni. *hehe Kolej ni adalah antara kolej terkecil kat Malaysia. (kot) everything is in two blocks of shop houses. Can you imagine that? All the halls and libraries and musolla and the cafes and the staffrooms. Even our houses! One thing that awes me the most when I first came here is the way everything was planned to work. It's hard to imagine the way they first planned to place this and that in that small area. But it totally worked out! AWESOMEEE! A lot is going on while you're in KTT. We have activities like normal colleges do, but in a smaller scale (i guess) Yeah, it's easy to live here. You can't easily fly anywhere without a tra...

Malam itu, seusai solat Maghrib berjemaah, si ayah berdoa. Nadanya penuh syahdu. Ada hakikat yang perlu terluah malam itu. Ada luka yang akan kembali terkupas. Mereka bersalaman. Hening. Si ayah memandang wajah si isteri. Sama-sama tersenyum. "Mai dekat sikit anak-anak abah ni," pujuk si ayah. Si ibu meriba anak perempuannya. Matanya tertutup. Nafas panjang dihela. "Sayang abah ni, okay ke malam ni?" soal si ayah. "Okay bah. Hari ni abah nak cerita pasal apa?" Haikal, yang sulung teruja dan tersengih. Si ayah membalas senyumnya. "Ada sesuatu yang perlu abah beritahu. Sesuatu yang patut kamu tahu," "Macam serius je, bah. Kenapa ni?" soal Izzah, anak gadisnya. "Ingat tak setiap kali masa Ramadhan, kita akan datang bersihkan kubur kat tepi sekolah tu?" si ayah memulakan bicara. "Ingat," serentak anak-anak kecil itu menjawab. "Kan ada kubur kecil yang kita selalu datang tu? Bila kamu t...

bismillah. I don't know why, but lately, I've been talking about marriages and things like that. Not that I'm eager about it. (though I do feel that way) But all these talking and chatting about this made me forget something.  I didn't know what One day, my sister asked me and my friend, 'You're so busy talking about this, have you perfected yourself?' well, sort of. Dushhhhh! That was a slap in the face. But it was what I needed. I've been blinded by the idea of marriage, that I forget I will hold half the responsibility to make it work. AND IM NOT EVEN COMPLETE YET! Being in a marriage lets you complete each other, you and your spouse. You complete half the deen of your spouse. You carry each others weights and sins. How can I complete my other half when I, myself, am just taking the first step in this journey? I realised that I can't go on like this. I'm going to let this dream go, so that I can fulfill myself ...

bismillah. Alahai~ penatnya. Dah lebih seminggu dah hidup dengan hati yang tak keruan. Mengah, lelah. Kucar-kacir. Dah beberapa hari dah asyik bergaduh ni. Selera makan hilang. Ayoo~ bukan nak mengeluh. Tapi, bila hati kita rosak atau terganggu, memang happaaaaa pun tak jalan. " Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingati Allah hati akan menjadi tenteram" [ 13 : 28 ] O Allah yang membolak-balikkan hati, please mend my heart. .yang khilaf itu milikku.

bismillah. Orang kata hidup ni macam roda. Ada masa di atas, di bawah, di atas semula. Ada jugak yang kata, putaran ni hidup kita, dari lahir-->baby-->budak-budak-->membesar-->kerja/kawin etc-->mati but do you know its beyond that? "Celakalah manusia! Alangkah kufurnya dia! Dari apakah Dia menciptakannya? Dari setitis mani, Dia menciptakannya lalu menentukannya, Kemudian jalannya dimudahkan, Kemudian Dia mematikannya lalu menguburkannya, Kemudian jika Dia menghendaki, Dia membangkitkannya kembali. SEKALI-KALI JANGAN BEGITU! Dia itu belum melaksanakan apa yang Dia perintahkan kepadanya" [ 80 : 17-23 ] Sebelum kita lahir, Allah dah tentukan rezeki dan perjalanan hidup kita. Maka dalam ayat di atas ni, Allah dah cakap Dia permudahkan jalan kita. Tapi Allah berfirman, 'sekali-kali jangan! Dia belum melaksanakan apa yang diperintahkan kepadanya,' Sebenarnya, macam mana perjalanan hidup kita ni? (erk. kalau sudi nak baca ...

Today is Mechanics exam. I'm not sure how I did, but Alhamdulillah, Allah helped me. It was very.. Calming. To have those 95 minutes of busting our brains out, yet He gave me and my friends calmness. So soothing like I was staring at the ocean. Its like I feel the waves pushing and pulling my problems away. And alhamdulillah, I walked out from the exam hall, full of redha and tawakal. I fell sleepy not long after. But I wanted to accompany my dear sister to buy some things at the mall. An hour passed, and my eyes keep asking me to shut it. (i normally sleep for a few moments before Dhuhr) We waited for our ride, and my brains just won't let my eyes shut. Yet I almost slept. I was fasting today. But I didn't eat for suhoor. And I was dead weak, and hungry. I almost break my fast. Almost. I was about to buy food when my sister reminded me to keep on fighting. She said to me, 'Didn't you say you wanna be a mujahidah?' ...

"Umi, kenapa abang Haikal, kak Izzah dan abang Faris boleh pergi sekolah naik basikal sendiri tapi Muaz tak boleh?" tutur Muaz di pangkuan ibunya. "Eh, Muaz kan adik. Mana boleh pergi sekolah sendiri," luah si ibu. "Alaa.. kalau macam tu Muaz nak adiklah. Nanti Muaz jadi abang, bolehlah Muaz pergi sekolah sendiri macam abang dan kakak," Muaz mengangkat kepala, tersenyum. Wajah si ayah dan si ibu berubah. Tapi si ibu kembali tersenyum. "Em.. ada rezeki nanti insyaAllah ya? Muaz doalah kat Allah," tutur si ibu, mengusap kepala si anak. Si ayah hanya memandang. [klik 'read more' untuk terus membaca]

Bismillah. Lebih kurang dua minggu lepas, scholar MARA ada briefing. Kami diberi offer untuk menjejak ke.. AUSTRALIA! 'Apa perasaan anda dapat tawaran ke Bumi Kangaru ni?' 'Adakah anda akan terima tawaran ni?' 'Bagaimana dengan impian anda untuk ke Czech atau Poland tu?' Fuhh~ Big decisions are to be made here! Duh~ Bukan senang nak buat keputusan sebegini rupa. Masa briefing tu, puas fikir tentang possibilities untuk ke sana. Kena ambil examlah, duit lagi, blah..blah..blah.. Padahal orang kata it's just a YES or NO situation. Ade ke patut?? Terkejut beruk masa tu, tiba-tiba perlu buat keputusan macam tu. Huwaaa~ Nak pergi ke? Tak nak? Nak pergi ke? Ya, memang betul saat saya daftar kat KTT ni, tak terfikir pun pasal Australia dah. (sebelum ni pernah dapat tawaran jugak tapi tolak) Tapi bila fikir-fikir balik.. betul ke tindakan aku ni? Hidup ni, bak kata as-Syahid Sayyid Qutb, natijahnya kita tak pernah ...

Have you ever been to a party where the hosts only allow in people with invitations? Or where you line up to enter a place where you can't get in unless you're a somebody? Or at times when you took the time and money to travel far to meet someone famous but you can't even get through security? How would you feel when you were outside of those parties or places when you were all sulking and sad that you can't enter, someone from inside that you once met loooooooooong ago recognizes you and said to the host "Hey, I know this guy. He's the one who helped me to this status I'm in. He's an awesome dude. You have to get to know him.Can you please let him in?" Wouldn't that be the moment of awe and joy where you almost cried knowing that your long time friend helped you to get in and join the rest of the crowd? where you were so ecstatic to know that your dream came true? How would you...