Skip to main content

I Gotta Let This Go

bismillah.

I don't know why, but lately, I've been talking about marriages and things like that. Not that I'm eager about it. (though I do feel that way) But all these talking and chatting about this made me forget something.

 I didn't know what

One day, my sister asked me and my friend,

'You're so busy talking about this, have you perfected yourself?'
well, sort of.

Dushhhhh!
That was a slap in the face. But it was what I needed. I've been blinded by the idea of marriage, that I forget I will hold half the responsibility to make it work. AND IM NOT EVEN COMPLETE YET!

Being in a marriage lets you complete each other, you and your spouse. You complete half the deen of your spouse. You carry each others weights and sins.

How can I complete my other half when I, myself, am just taking the first step in this journey?

I realised that I can't go on like this. I'm going to let this dream go, so that I can fulfill myself first. Because I know, Allah will give me the people He thinks most worthy to accompany people who love Him. And He will send me my other half, when I'm completely ready.

Because who knows better than Allah himself rite?

Oh Allah, I so love you!


.mistakes are mine to blame.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It's The End of The Race

bismillah. It's the night of 29th Ramadhan. The race is at its end. And how do I feel about it? Sad. Deeply, extremely sad. I hardly meet Ramadhan. Once a year. And for many years, I spent the days Ramadhan was here by just letting it pass by. This is one of the years where I truly devote myself in meeting Ramadhan, yet I feel it didn't change me. I didn't change. My fingers are literally trembling of the fact that.. I might not even see Ramadhan again. I am so overwhelmed. My heart is almost bursting of sadness. I might finish this race, but I don't know if I'm winning. And for the times I tried, well, He's the Only One to judge me. And I pray that this month has made me stronger within. Probably. Maybe. InshaAllah This is my last night with Ramadhan insyaAllah. I hope this possibly last date will last a lifetime. Cause I don't know if I have that long. I might not even see tomorrow. Or even finish my date tonigh

Happy Birthday To Me! Is it?

Bismillah. 20 April 2012 Hari ni ada BBQ Muslimah kat Masjid BBST. Seronok. Hari ni, body dan roh dapat makanan masing-masing alhamdulillah. :) Malam kami makan tu, makan ramai-ramai dalam dulang. Best woo! Tiba-tiba, sorang akak ni seru, "Attention! Akak nak panggil dua orang ni, sebab dorang ada buat salah dengan akak," then nama mereka pun disebut. Tipikal. Biasa waktu program-program macam ni, kalau ada yang cakap macam tu mesti nak sambut befday. Semua orang bergembira, happy, bergelak ketawa. Buat sesiapa yang tak dapat rasa ke-best-an makan dalam dulang ni, sila rasainya sendiri ya :) Tiba-tiba, tengah akak-akak yang 'bersalah' tu dipanggil ke depan, sorang buah hati saya jerit dari depan (saya makan kat belakang) Dia (1) : Azneen! Azneen! Cepat pergi depan ni! Saya : Hah? Buat ape? Dia (1) : Eleh, buat-buat tak tahu pulak. (sengih lebar) Saya pun buat-buat tak tahu, dan terus nyanyi. (wah, nyanyi kat masjid tu. tak senonoh betu

The Results are OUT!

bismillah. It's a wonderful day. Today is the day I get my A-Level results. Yippie!   It is however, due to my psychicness, that I won't carve a smile on my parents face. Had that feeling in my gut since July. It's a feeling of, discomfort. And nothing can shake it off. I'd like to say a lot here. About what happened to me since that particular July. But I'd end up whining things I shouldn't. Better save it for someone better to listen to. And to not-my-surprise, my results were under par. And I am not sad. At all. Well, maybe a little, but no mental breakdown whatsoever. This, however, never happened to me. I never went into an exam, and NOT pass. Never. Not the UPSR. Not PMR. Not SPM. *not trying to boast here* And this is the first. And I gotta tell ya. It doesn't hurt so bad. I've seen many of my friends went nuts and cry a lot after their results didn't come out as good as others. And I didn't know what to do, th