I'm Not Dumb

bismillah.

it's hard when things don't go our way

times when summer turns to fall when all we want is the sun

when night falls but we just want to be awake

but it's harder

when we strive to be better

but people pushes us away

back to where we started

it's depressing

it's disappointing

it's killing you from the inside

i might be blind

overseeing you from the shadows

but i'm not that dumb to realize

that something's not right

i'm stupid for everything

i know that

but can't you at least spare me the tears

and just speak the truth?

i'm swimming in my emotions

and i'm crying in front of Allah now

but how i wish you would understand

that i'd like your shoulders too

it might be too late

for me to make things right

but for all that's worth

i love you

i had, and i always will

even if you don't believe me

i wish you can see right through me

and see how much you matter

but i guess you don't care anymore

you've replaced me with someone better

i'm not a good friend

there's nothing of that quality inside me

thanks for being there

while i'm still me

if Allah can accept me for who I am
why can't you?
i know i'm not all rainbows and sunshine inside
but i thought that's what friends are for

-to complete each other-

guess i was wrong, eh?

so, i'm sorry

for ever stepping in your life

i can see you're leaving
no goodbyes
no kisses and hugs
no more smiles..

and if solitude is the price i have to pay

i'll spend it for Allah

for all i want is for you to be happy..

even if i'm not in the picture

.i wish you knew.