It's The End of The Race

bismillah.

It's the night of 29th Ramadhan. The race is at its end. And how do I feel about it?

Sad. Deeply, extremely sad.

I hardly meet Ramadhan. Once a year. And for many years, I spent the days Ramadhan was here by just letting it pass by.

This is one of the years where I truly devote myself in meeting Ramadhan, yet I feel it didn't change me.

I didn't change.

My fingers are literally trembling of the fact that.. I might not even see Ramadhan again.

I am so overwhelmed. My heart is almost bursting of sadness.

I might finish this race, but I don't know if I'm winning.

And for the times I tried, well, He's the Only One to judge me. And I pray that this month has made me stronger within. Probably. Maybe. InshaAllah

This is my last night with Ramadhan insyaAllah.

I hope this possibly last date will last a lifetime. Cause I don't know if I have that long.

I might not even see tomorrow. Or even finish my date tonight till the end.

But I might as well try.

Allah would like that. For us to TRY. It's what He counts on.

.i'm gonna miss you..

Comments

Happy Birthday To Me! Is it?

Bismillah. 20 April 2012 Hari ni ada BBQ Muslimah kat Masjid BBST. Seronok. Hari ni, body dan roh dapat makanan masing-masing alhamdulillah. :) Malam kami makan tu, makan ramai-ramai dalam dulang. Best woo! Tiba-tiba, sorang akak ni seru, "Attention! Akak nak panggil dua orang ni, sebab dorang ada buat salah dengan akak," then nama mereka pun disebut. Tipikal. Biasa waktu program-program macam ni, kalau ada yang cakap macam tu mesti nak sambut befday. Semua orang bergembira, happy, bergelak ketawa. Buat sesiapa yang tak dapat rasa ke-best-an makan dalam dulang ni, sila rasainya sendiri ya :) Tiba-tiba, tengah akak-akak yang 'bersalah' tu dipanggil ke depan, sorang buah hati saya jerit dari depan (saya makan kat belakang) Dia (1) : Azneen! Azneen! Cepat pergi depan ni! Saya : Hah? Buat ape? Dia (1) : Eleh, buat-buat tak tahu pulak. (sengih lebar) Saya pun buat-buat tak tahu, dan terus nyanyi. (wah, nyanyi kat masjid tu. tak senonoh betu

Maafkan Aku, Sahabat Setia

bismillah. sepanjang hari semua rasa tak kena. hati bergetar hebat, tahan macam-macam perasaan yang beribut dalam dada. tenang! tenang please! hati merintih tapi tiada apa yang terkesan. menangis. petang, banyak sangat yang mengganggu. baru sahaja kelmarin aku luahkan beban dalam jiwa. ringan sedikit. mungkin. tapi hari ni, ahh~ bagai ombak menghempas pantai. menderu hebat membelah tepian. dan aku kembali terluka. sesal menebal dalam diri. menangis lagi. entah ke berapa kali. puas melukis senyuman di wajah yang sudah pun basah dengan air mata. tapi mata tak bisa tipu. perit itu terbias juga. dan air mata berjurai lagi. menyesal. dan aku putuskan semuanya dengan manusia lain. putuskan urat simpati yang aku ikat dari untaian kata-kata dari bibirku. air mata terus jatuh. musnahlah kepercayaan. 'it didn't work. telling didn't work. i don't feel better. this has to stop.' ceritera aku kembali aku simpan dalam peti rahsia. rah

Musafir Biru

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