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Please Do Meet Me Again


I'm here again, sitting at the porch under the moonless night, the moon is probably hiding somewhere. The sky is full of clouds, and as I look down, the streets are filled with kids and teens running around in laughter, it's almost as if I am amidst the shadows of people. Only, I'm alone.

There's firework lighting the skies, and the Eid chant is bursting in the air. The celebration is on, but I feel alienated once more.

"Jasmine, come on! Eid's here. What's with the face and all?" Jane, my big sister insisted that I join her downstairs with the others, preparing for tomorrow. But I don't feel like it. I am just not ready.

As I sit down the bench, the cold starts biting my bones. I'm thinking to myself, 'This isn't happening. It can't be.' I clutch my hands and starts blowing. It's too cold out here. But I think it's just me. I pulled my collar up and pulled my knees in. My mind twirling around the meeting we had a month ago.

It was beautiful, and for so long, I was finally ready to meet you. I don't think I made a good first impression, but I think I get the hang of having you around after a few days. You lit up the room, and your aura is just, overwhelming. The connection we had, boy, was it stronger than before! I smile as I remember myself tumbling for the first few days, but it didn't matter at the time. Cause I had you.

I feel tears streaming down, as I remembered my struggles to keep up with you the week after we met. It's like targeting thresholds all day, but I didn't care. I did it, because the times I spent trying for you, I think it's worth it. Most of the time I felt like giving up, but there you are, pushing me up again. And without knowing, I was back on my feet. Ohh those moments were so delightful, I didn't even realise time was catching up with us.

I look up, and there you are. The wind blows gently across my cheeks, as if your hands were touching them. And I cried more, but something about the breeze made me feel calmer. That whole time we had came flashing right in front of me. and I swear I see you smile.

And today, as I recall, you made your plans on leaving. Leaving me, and everyone you made impact on, just so Eid can have his share of time with us. I know I should be celebrating, but what's there to celebrate if you're not here with us? What's to be so glee about when I know after tonight, God knows if I'll be seeing you again.

Ramadhan, why.. Why can't we just be together?

"Who says we aren't? I'm still here, in your heart. You just have to find the will to dig deep enough. I might be lost inside with all that is going on with your life. But once you found me, don't let me go." you whispered.

I can no longer hold my tears back. I look away as you leave.

Oh Ramadhan, please..
Please do meet me again.

But I know it is not within my power.
I know, it is not mine to ask.

Final Ramadhan excerpt
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