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Ada Satu Cerita..

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

Assalamualaikum! Peace be unto you. Hello! Whassup! Howdy partner? (sorry for the nonsense intro)

Apa khabar hari ni? :) Alhamdulillah. Langit cerah, matahari pun tengah tersenyum. Cuaca yang menarik untuk sidai kain. (huh?) Hari ni, saya mahu bercerita sedikit, just nak kongsi apa yang saya dapat baru-baru ni.


Nak baca tak?


Tak berniat nak menghipnosis kamu ye :) Sekadar nak make sure korang masih nak baca. Sebab saya tau post saya membosankan blahblahblah~

Satu malam ni, malam Selasa to be exact, housemate saya puasa. Jadi dia dah pakat dengan classmates dia untuk berbuka di luar. (Makan kat restoran gitu) Jadi Maghrib tu, saya dan dia berjemaah berdua. Entahlah apa yang mengganggu malam tu, mungkin disebabkan sliding door yang tak bertutup menyebabkan banyak shaytaan masuk rumah dan ganggu kami, hinggakan saya terlupa apa saya buat time solat tu!

ASTAGH FIRULLAH ALAZIM!

Masa rakaat ke3, saya tiba-tiba disuap dengan fikiran yang saya tak tahiyat awal tadi. Lepas sujud kedua saya terus bangun. OH OUR GOD! Sampai imam (housemate saya) bagi salam, saya terus sujud sahwi. Ya Allah waktu tu risau sangat. Kenapa mudah sangat diganggu saat berbicara dengan Allah. Malu, menyesal, sedih semua ada. Sampai imam habis baca doa saya asyik fikirkan possibility yang saya sebenarnya dah tahiyat dah tadi. Imam pun ragu-ragu, dia solat lagi sekali.

Lepas solat, saya belek Quran saya kejap. Bukak-bukak je terus kat Surah Sad [38:82-83]
82. Iblis menjawab, "Demi kemuliaanMu, pasti aku akan menyesatkan mereka semuanya, 83. kecuali hamba-hambaMu yang terpilih di antara mereka"
Rasa macam Allah betul-betul nak tunjukkan kuasa Dia, Dia pimpin saya ke ayat ni right on the spot. Dan saya rasa nak nangis. Sedih sangat. Terasa macam diri ni jaaaaaaauhhhhhhh lagi nak jadi hamba Allah yang 'terpilih' tu. Malu dengan diri sendiri. Apa yang aku buat ni? Tak mau ke jadi insan pilihan tu?

Saya sangat sedih, sampai tertidur! Bangun-bangun je, dah nak masuk Isyak. Housemate tinggal sorang je ada, dia pun nak keluar jugak.

Jadi, dalam tempoh Isyak itu, saya solat bersendirian di rumah. Tibanya masa rakaat ke3, ada satu perasaan takut yang sangat hebat menyusup dalam jiwa, dan ketakutan buat Allah itu jelas terasa. Orang kata kalau nak khusyuk solat, bayangkan di penjuru kita ada syurga, ada neraka, ada Allah, dan ada malaikat maut. Dan saat itu, saya sangat rasakan yang Izrail begitu dekat dengan saya. Seolah-olah dia betul-betul kat belakang saya. Hati saya terus berdoa dan mengharap, andainya ini solat terakhirku, I will make the best out of it.

Ketakutan tu mendorong saya untuk berfikir yang malaikat maut dah bersedia dah nak cabut nyawa saya kejap lagi. Berpakaian serba hitam. And you know what that means kan? Saya dah bersedia dah, sebab kalau dia tiba serba hitam, i wont get Husnul Khatimah. And I was very afraid.

Usai solat, saya menoleh, but no one was there. Only me. In the house. Masa tu Ya Allah, ketakutan tu tak hilang. Saya menangis, bersyukur sebab Allah masih sayangkan saya, berikan saya rasa ketakutan terhadap azabNya agar saya menjadikannya iktibar. Tangisan yang tak henti-henti.



Ya Allah, Tuhan yang membolak-balikkan hati
Dengan penuh rasa malu
aku ingin meminta padaMu
agar terus memimpin ku ke jalanMu
yang Engkau redhai
Dengan penuh rasa hina
Aku merayu
Agar rahmat keampunanMu sentiasa terbuka
buat aku yang sering terleka

Selagi kita punya masa..

MAKE A CHANGE

Your life in hereafter depends on what you do NOW


Yang khilaf itu milikku.


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