With Me

Thursday, June 21

Why I Love School So Much

bismillah.

there are times when my mind wanders around, and every memory i have around my high school *as people usually say it   comes rushing in like waves. pushing and pulling me deeper into the times where i was up, down and almost gave up.

i miss school. i miss school. i miss school. *kuala lipis in particular 
when i was in high school, i don't own my own laptop, or my own handphone. heck, we can't even bring it even if we do. i used to think it was a bummer. but come to think of it now, i'm glad. soooo glad.

because then, i only live with my friends, my books, my teachers. no connection to the outside world whatsoever. and internet was not a priority at the time. whenever i wanna know something, i ask people. i talk to people. when i get lazy to study, i go to the academic block and talk to everyone. i ran all across the block. i scream, shout, as if everything's mine. *lie hehe anyways. everyday, i tend to pray on time, eat on time (or extra time) i have complete control over my time. when it comes to short, two-to-three days holidays, i will be the one NOT going back home.

why?

because i won't spend my time on tv and facebook. yes i know i have to find the will to let it go. but heck, as a teen, *or as me you get addicted to these stuffs cause you don't get it often. wardens sometimes asks, and one actually ridiculed me for not going back home everytime we have short holidays. it's not that i dont love home. i do. i have a great support system, alhamdulillah. but when it comes to these split decisions on how i spend my time, i'm facing it alone. and i usually fail. teehee

yeah, i AM a nerd. i walk everywhere with a pen in my hand. i don't know how to socialise with people, but i try. not many deign to walk with me, and most of the time, i'm alone. and that made me independent.

now that i'm in college (alhamdulillah) i rely most of my information from the web. i tend to text people, even when they are right in front of me *lame* and now, it's like i don't even have a voice anymore! (do not take this literally)

being in school lets me be me. because the younger we are, the more carefree we get. we care less on what people think of us, and just get on with it. in college, we grow older, and older makes you, or us, careMORE on what people think. it stresses you out. and for your desires to be in a clique is greater, you tend to lose yourself along the way.

DONT!

if making friends means you have to lose yourself-your good self, and your principles for Allah, then don't make friends. Allah is sufficient for you. if you lay your relies on Allah, He will provide you with the kind of friends you need to make that love for Him bloom.

okay, i'm out of the topic. why am i talking about you guys when this post is about me?

heheh

i remember staying in Kuala Lipis, we have no other options to escape from it because all around are trees, and the nearest town is 7 KM away! so, my life revolves around school. i get to bond with my friends cause we don't go out. i get to be closer to Allah as i spend my time in surau and looking at nature. it's great when i was there. and now, i'm missing it so badly!

high school is also where i found myself. once, i was so down, that i gave up on Allah. constant condemnation made me feel less worthy, day by day. Kuala Lipis lets me find Him in unusual ways. ways that i am not yet ready to share with you (heheh) now, i soar higher and grew stronger insyaAllah with His blessings.

you see, school is not so bad. if you know what you want to turn your life into, and what you want people to see in you, you will find a way, or ways, to make full use of it. heck, school IS the place for us to make mistakes. so that when we do grow up, we don't make the same ones. when we do grow up, we don't make silly mistakes anymore. we faced ups and downs, heck, we might even get bullied. (i was once a bully -.- ) but if you searched within you, you find that you can be better than this. you can be..

YOU

FOR Allah, He doesn't let His servants go astray. Seek for Him. and you'll pull through, insyaAllah.

  • i don't know what i'm talking about
  • kuala lipis, i'll be back soon insyaAllah
what's wrong is mine.
yet i belong to Allah.



2 Comments: