Skip to main content

I Used To

i used to be a bad kid
a very bad one
and i'm quite good at it
i grew to become a monster
and i blame it all on my rough childhood

i thought that was what life is about
power
anger
but one day i had enough
and i tried to be better

when i was bad
i had friends with benefits
when i became better
i had 'just friends'

as i got into high school
i wanna be better than this
i know i can
and as i try
the more friends i lose
until i became alone

then it hit me
it hit me hard
i can't trust anybody
no one can make me happy
except for myself

i used to walk alone
eat alone
dream alone

and all those loneliness became my best friend
then it brought me to someone
someone who is with me
now and then
it led me to ALLAH

i was on the edge when He found me
He saved me from falling
He loved me unconditionally
and i've been in love ever since

Allah
i used to blame everything for what went wrong
but now that i met You
i'm grateful for everything i went through
for it teaches me to persevere and learn
and for it led me to You

i used to crave for attention
but now that i have You
i know i got all the attention i need

i used to be angry for everything
but now that i know how patient You've been to me
i know i want to try and be just that

i used to love only myself
for i didn't think love exist
but now that i know You
i know Your love is seamless

no matter how i say it
no matter what i do
i know that Your love for me
will always be greater than what i can give You





.i'm trying.
,thank You Dear.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Results are OUT!

bismillah. It's a wonderful day. Today is the day I get my A-Level results. Yippie!   It is however, due to my psychicness, that I won't carve a smile on my parents face. Had that feeling in my gut since July. It's a feeling of, discomfort. And nothing can shake it off. I'd like to say a lot here. About what happened to me since that particular July. But I'd end up whining things I shouldn't. Better save it for someone better to listen to. And to not-my-surprise, my results were under par. And I am not sad. At all. Well, maybe a little, but no mental breakdown whatsoever. This, however, never happened to me. I never went into an exam, and NOT pass. Never. Not the UPSR. Not PMR. Not SPM. *not trying to boast here* And this is the first. And I gotta tell ya. It doesn't hurt so bad. I've seen many of my friends went nuts and cry a lot after their results didn't come out as good as others. And I didn't know what to do, th...
4 comments
Read more

Something Worth Promoting

bismillah. Hello! Hello! Buat adik-adik lepasan SPM 2011, adik-adik daftar ke mana lepas ni? Ni haa~ akak nak promote ni. Once in a lifetime chance. I want to promote to you.. KOLEJ TEKNOLOGI TIMUR! Well, people say we can't judge a book by its cover kan? So, akak tak maulah tayang wajah sebenar KTT Sepang ni. *hehe Kolej ni adalah antara kolej terkecil kat Malaysia. (kot) everything is in two blocks of shop houses. Can you imagine that? All the halls and libraries and musolla and the cafes and the staffrooms. Even our houses! One thing that awes me the most when I first came here is the way everything was planned to work. It's hard to imagine the way they first planned to place this and that in that small area. But it totally worked out! AWESOMEEE! A lot is going on while you're in KTT. We have activities like normal colleges do, but in a smaller scale (i guess) Yeah, it's easy to live here. You can't easily fly anywhere without a tra...
2 comments
Read more

Take Me Back.

bismillah. It's been a while since I've been here. I didn't feel worthy enough to write again. But I promised myself that I won't quit. I browsed through my old facebook notes. And this is a particularly sad one, because I've been in the same circle for years, never learning my lesson. I am hoping by posting this, I myself am reminded. So, here goes. " Take Me Back " 28 September 2012 at 00:44 I'm walking into this room again. It's half full, but I am so alone. I can almost hear my heart thumping, as I tried so hard to hide how its beats were playing the notes I don't want people to ever hear. Fear. I'm scared to face you again here. The place where solace was so near, I could dream forever. I'm scared, because it has been long. I have been constantly leaving you. Giving excuses to myself, that by leaving I was actually finding myself. Lie. A big fat lie. The world has put a big blob of dis...
Post a Comment
Read more